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from: How To Fight King Cellulite


Once upon a time in a far away land there was a great king named Cellulite. He was not a very nice man and treated his subjects with much disdain. The people of his kingdom decided to rise up and fight King Cellulite to regain there freedom and dignity. The only problem was that his castle was built on top of a hill surrounded by a toxic moat filled with acid.

If you were lucky enough to get over the moat to fight King Cellulite you had to get past the dragon that spit nails. This posed quite a problem for the people of Cellulite’s kingdom and they brought in great strategists to figure out how to get past these monstrous obstacles.

Acid Moat

The first obstacle in getting in to fight King Cellulite was to get past the toxic acid moat. If you made one wrong move and got a pinch of acid on your body then it would not be possible to fight at King Cellulite’s castle. A boat could not be used because the acid would eat through the metal. The great strategists came up with the idea of hot air balloons.

The warriors could then float over the acid moat to fight King Cellulite. He would most definitely be surprised by the sight of hot air balloons dropping in on him from above. The warriors could make the balloons out of a fabric made by the beautiful young seamstresses and attach super big baskets to them.

A big metal pot would be put in the center to have a place to make the fire that would provide the hot air to make the balloons rise. Using hot air balloons meant that no one would have to go near the toxic acid moat when they had to fight King Cellulite.

Nail Spitting Dragon

The hot air balloon was a great idea to get over the toxic moat to fight King Cellulite but now the great strategists had to figure out how to keep the nail spitting dragon from shooting down the hot air balloons and dropping everyone into the acid moat. This particular dragon is the meanest dragon in the whole dragon species and would not hesitate to spit nails to protect his king.

The great strategists knew that there was a huge poppy field near by and suggested that the warriors pick all of the poppies in the field so as the warriors flew over the dragon in their hot air balloons they could drop all of the poppy’s on him. The poppies would put the dragon to sleep so he could not shoot down the hot air balloons with his nails. Now the warriors could successfully get into the castle and fight King Cellulite.